I'm a Mother Before all Else

Last night before bed I read something on a friend's facebook that I found very disturbing. I started to scorn her, then thought I needed to take a step back and realize that just because I parent the way I do, doesn't mean it's the only way to do things. It's just my personal opinion that she is wrong. However, it's one of those opinions that I'm going to have to keep to myself (or to my blog).

Her status was criticizing a friend of hers who had minutes before updated her own facebook saying something about how she had made her husband sleep on the couch so her child could sleep with her. My friend, in turn, made a post saying that as much as she loves her kids, that she would never do that. The funny thing to me is that I see nothing wrong with what that mother did. In fact, I've done similar things for my baby boy. 

In my opinion, it's perfectly normal for children to sometimes need their mommy, even if that means sleeping in the bed with her at nighttime. Now granted, I don't know the age of this child, but maybe I just see things differently because we co-sleep. So that means my pooh bear sleeps next to me every night. I am ALWAYS there in case he needs me. So to me, this bed sharing seems natural. 

But honestly, there's a bigger picture that I'm trying to get to; it's not all about the bed sharing. It brought up a good question to me that women must consider when they decide to become mothers. Are you a mother first, or a wife (partner)? For me, I am most certainly, absolutely, without a doubt, 100% a mother first, and before all else. I am also a girlfriend, daughter, sister, friend, and the list goes on an on.  But the most important to me is being mommy.

That being said, every time my son needs me, I am there. If he is crying, I am there to comfort him. If he is hungry, I am there to nurse him. If he is bored, I am there to entertain him. If he is tired, I am there to put him to sleep. Even when that is in my own bed. Even when there is laundry to be folded, and dinner to be cooked, and a boyfriend who also needs some attention. Even when there are a million and one other things I could be doing. Not one compares to the needs of my child. 

I have often been made fun of that I don't ever let my baby cry. My question is why would I? Pooh bear is probably the happiest, most laid back baby I've ever met. When he does cry, there's always a reason. Usually a problem. So of course, I rush to see what is the matter. I believe that in doing so, I am teaching him that I am always here when he needs me. In turn, my parenting style has started upbringing this happy little angel. If I were to do things differently, I'm almost positive his temperament would also be different. Therefore, I believe I'm doing what's best for him (for us), and it's showing!

The laundry will get done eventually, we won't starve to death, and I can explain to my boyfriend that right now our little one needs me more. Pooh bear won't be a baby who needs me forever. All else can wait, babies cannot. This is how I justify my actions. You can't explain to a 5 month old, "hold on, I just need to finish cleaning the living room and then you can eat your lunch." Doesn't work that way!

As he grows older, he will be able to wait longer when he wants (not needs) me. But I do hope that him knowing I'm always here will never leave. I want him to always know that. I believe we're on the right path. I'm so thankful that I discovered a name for what I'm doing. It's called Attachment Parenting. Before I even knew of such the thing, I was just doing what was natural to me. Now I see that I'm not alone. And studies show, that this style of parenting raises some pretty awesome, independent, intelligent, loving children. It seems worth it to me. Even if that means boyfriend gets to sleep on the couch once in a while.